HUMOR COLLECTIONS

A small BOY get it for nothing..

A young Man has to steal it.....

And old man has to pay for it......

Why?

Once a while a visiting very rich friend.The maid approached me and question....

"What would you like to have?
Fruit Juice,Soda,Tea,Chocolate,Cappucino,Frapucinno,or coffee??
Answer:TEA please....."


Question:"Ceylon Tea, Indian Tea,Herbal Tea,Bush Tea,Honey Bush
Tea,Iced Tea or Green Tea,Iced lemon tea,Chinese Tea ?"
Answer : "Ceylon Tea."

Question : "How would you like it? Black or white?
Answer: "White."
Question: "Milk or fresh cream?
Answer: "With milk."
Question: "Goat's milk or cow's milk?"
Answer: "With cow's milk please."
Question: "Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?"

Answer: "Um.. I'll just take it black."
Question: "Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"
Answer: "With sugar.."
Question: "Beet sugar or cane sugar?"
Answer: "Cane sugar."
Question:" White, brown or yellow sugar?"
Answer: "Forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water
instead."

Question: "Mineral water, tap water or distilled water?
Answer: "Mineral water."
Question: "Flavoured or non-flavoured?"
Answer: "I think I'll just die of thirst..."

Really Funny Pictures - Watch more amazing videos here

Leanardo Da Vinci painted his classic Mona Lisa(Above) in the early 1500s.
And below may give you some idea of the modernised mona lisa today.


Its look like typical emo/gothic/ mona lisa

Fashionable Mona Lisa

Mona Lisa And Jimmy Hendrix era

Did you hear about stupid ghost?
He climbed over walls..

Why did the stupid chicken climb over the glass wall?
To see what on the onther side...

"You're stupid.
How Dare you!

"Say you're sorry
"All RIGHT,im sorry stupid'


Whats the different between ignorance and apathy?
I dont know and i dont care.

VOLVO-Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

TOYOTA-Too Often Yanks Overpribe This Auto

SUBARU -Screw Up Beyond Repair Usually

ROLLS -ROYCE-Regarded Only As Luxury Life Style Runs Over Your Current Expenses

PORCHE-Proof Only Rich Suckers Can Have Everything.

MERCEDES-Many Expensive Repairs Can Eventually Discourage Extra Sales.

MAZDA-Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along.

HYUNDAI -Hope You Understand Nothings Drivable Inexpensive

AUDI-Accelerates Under Demonic Influence OR

Always Unsafe Design Implemented

BMW-Born Moderately Wealthy

OR Break My Windows Or Bough My Wife

"Knock
",knock'
Who are there?
"Aardvark

Aardvark who?
..Aardvark a hundred miles for one of your smile..."


What happened when the two candles fell in love?
They met their match...

Did you hear about the two blood cells who fell in love?
........They love in vein......


Did you hear about the ghost and the vampire who fell in love?
It was the first fright..

What did the one -eyed cyclops say to his girlfriend?
yOu are the one eye adore'There was a young lady named stella.Fell in love with bow legged fella.The venture some chap let her sit on his lap and she plummeted down to the cellar...

Stress point for you ....

"There are occasions when,confronted by brilliant idea or offered and eminently sensible recommendation,there is simply no other respond than 'Ha Ha Ha,That's a good one! 'This undermines someone who is quite probably an excellent worker already and will help take them to new levels of achievement."

What do you always get on your birthday?
Another year older.......


Why are birthday good for you?
The more you have,the longer you live........

When is the luke skywalker's birthday?
May the fourth (be with you)

"When is your birthday?'
The thirteen of september'


"Which year?
Every year

Did you hear about candle shop that BURN down?
........Everyone stood round singing 'Happy Birthday'

Some say....

"Age is question of mind over matter.If you dont mind it doesnt matter".


"Old age is always fifteen years older than i am...


'Age is somthing doesnt matter,unless you are a cheese"
..

"Growing old is most like a habit which a busy man has no time to form"

If you multiply 1089 x 9,you get 9801,Its reversed itself!This also workswith 10989 or 109989 or 1099989 and so on.............